


ghosts from a distant past (they haunt my dreams)

by Iwashima



Series: Introspections [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Kagami always helps Kuroko through his nightmares by being there for him, Light Angst, Seirin has a group chat too but it's not in this story that's just a headcanon of mine, Spoilers for if you haven't seen/read what happens in the Winter Cup, glad they're not assholes anymore, headcanon that Kuroko has nightmares about how the generation of miracles used to be like, kuroko has a lot of feelings, poor cinnamon roll, slight introspection, the Generation of Miracles have a group chat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:13:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6151837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iwashima/pseuds/Iwashima
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Thank you, Kagami-kun. I’m sorry you had to do this, again.” Kuroko’s voice came out soft, which he knew Kagami would pick up on, and he did. Kuroko knew for sure that Kagami was rolling his eyes now, and smiled a bit wider.</p><p>“It’s not a big deal.” Kagami’s voice was gruff, and Kuroko knew he was blushing again, maybe a bit more than before, knowing that Kagami felt awkward that he even had to say those words.</p><p>--<br/>In which Kuroko, though he and Seirin had already won the Winter Cup and helped all the Miracles with their holier-than-thou attitudes, still had frequent nightmares about his feelings from middle school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	ghosts from a distant past (they haunt my dreams)

**Author's Note:**

> I honestly have no clue what this is. I was trying to write for a different fanfiction, but I scrapped the idea I had and decided to take this from it, add and tweak a few things, and post it as a one-shot. 
> 
> (edit: so I forgot to save it and I had to re-write everything from when Kuroko woke up to the end of the fic. Moving on..)
> 
> Fun fact about me: Kuroko is one of my all time favorite anime characters. ♥
> 
> Also, sorry if he or Kagami are OOC. I have a headcanon that Kuroko is secretly emotional and that Kagami is somewhat of a tsundere lmao
> 
> Enjoy!

_"The Teiko Middle School Basketball club. An incredibly strong team with over one hundred members and three consecutive championship wins. Amongst their brilliant record, the generation of five prodigies was known as the 'Generation of Miracles'. However, there was a strange rumor regarding the Generation of Miracles. Despite being relatively unknown and lacking a game record, there was one more member recognized by the five prodigies._

_A phantom sixth man."_

_\------_

Squeaking shoes.

A loud buzzer.

Haughty smirks, blank eyes, and tears.

They were things that Kuroko Tetsuya didn't want to think about from the past. Ever since Aomine's awakening in their second year of middle school at Teiko, he had refused to play like he used to. How Kuroko admired. He completely changed... they all did, one by one. They toyed around with their opponents, even going as far as to manipulate the game to get certain scores.

**_They did it to Ogiwara._ **

Of course, he was talking about the Generation of Miracles, the five prodigies from Teiko. Kise Ryouta, Midorima Shintarou, Aomine Daiki, Murasakibara Atsushi, and their captain, Akashi Seijuurou. Naturally, that included Kuroko as well. He was deemed as the 'Phantom Sixth Man' by many, including the Miracles themselves. Kuroko was efficient in basketball with his misdirection; with his passes. Thing was, he was a firm believer in teamwork. It made sense, especially since his misdirection was all about it. His whole existence on the court depended on teamwork. For the Miracles to have advanced so quickly...

**_He wasn't even needed._ **

\------

It all started with Aomine's sudden leap in growth. Of course, he was as amazing as always with his play style (or at least Kuroko thought so), but it was different. He became arrogant. He skipped practices. He even ignored his team, ignored Kuroko, his _partner._ But Akashi let him, saying something like "as long as he gets us points and wins, it's okay". Kuroko wouldn't know, he didn't want to hear what his team was becoming and thus blocked it out.

Aomine ignored Kuroko's fist bump, a staple of their partnership. Kuroko, at first, was thoroughly confused, but in the end, when it became more frequent, it just saddened him immensely.

Akashi was then challenged by Murasakibara's arrogance in a 1v1, and that was when the heterochromia iridum was formed. Akashi's one eye turned from red to yellow. It was when he became someone different than the person their captain used to be.

_"Who are you?" A simple question, but only in theory. A smirk was all he received in response to wide, sky blue eyes._

_A hand over his heart, eyes even wider and wilder than the boy who asked the question. Though it wasn't in shock or fear, no, it was something like defiance. Defiance to who he once was before._

_"I'm Akashi Seijuurou, of course."_

As for Kise and Midorima, Midorima still practiced his perfect 3-pointer shots, but he too gave into the darker side. The prodigy side. Kise, however, was one of the last to go. He wanted to keep everyone in practice, keep the team going... But it could only last for so long. Kise fell to the darkness as well.

Kuroko knew in his mind that it would happen, but at the same time, it still stung. Here were the people that helped him gain his ability in his favorite sport, just to throw it away. They didn't even enjoy the game anymore, Aomine said it himself. Kuroko still remembered when someone asked him to join in the mind game they were playing, but he couldn't.

It was wrong. It made him sick to his stomach. It wasn't fair.

But those eyes-- _ohgodtheblankness_ \-- and the remarks they made to other teams--

_"We even helped you score and this happens?"_

_111-11._

_Tears running down Ogiwara's face, the glassy orbs shining under the gymnasium lights. He looked straight at Kuroko, and Kuroko's own eyes were wide with shock and despair, and he wanted so desperately to run to Ogiwara's side--_

_A game that was messed with._

_**Notfairnotfairnotfair--** _

_"Tetsu!"  A wide smile, eyes closed as he grinned. Aomine Daiki was sweaty after their practice game with the other Miracles, but all Kuroko could focus on was that he held out his fist towards him. Kuroko smiled, only a slight upturn of the lips that revealed much more than usual, reaching his own fist outward to meet it--_

_"Kurokocchi!" Kise Ryouta's arm wrapped around Kuroko's neck, their first game together won. Kise was ecstatic, deciding at that moment that Kuroko was definitely more amazing than he had thought. For the game, Kise had gotten to be Kuroko's light and they worked wonderfully together--_

_"Kuroko." Midorima Shintarou's tsundere personality was a thing everyone on the team was used to. Midorima handed him Aquarius' lucky item of the day (a keychain), which Kuroko accepted with a hint of amusement at Midorima's features that showed distain but certainly wasn't--_

_"Kuro-chin." A chocolate pocky held out to him. Murasakibara Atsushi never was one to share food, but off the court was when Kuroko and he had usually gotten along--_

_"Kuroko." Akashi Seijuurou's gentle voice answering questions for him, slowly and surely, taking as much time as Kuroko needed, which he was thankful for--_

_"Tetsu-kun!" Momoi Satsuki's smile was like the sun as she held out a water bottle and towel for him, with him accepting her help gratefully--_

 

_They walked side-by-side to the convenience store, Kuroko in between Aomine and Kise, with Momoi on the Kise's other side, while Midorima, Murasakibara, and Akashi walked together on the other side of Aomine. They stood together, friendships strong, like nothing could break it apart--_

 

But something could.

 

_"Tetsu..." Kuroko's fist was out, smile readily in place for what had become routine in their games together. But Aomine had kept walking forward, not even looking back--_

_"Sorry, Kurokocchi." Kise's smile was apologetic at best, as he left the gymnasium while practice was still going on, not even a glance back Kuroko's way--_

_"Kuroko." Midorima definitely had a sneer on his countenance, but ended up sighing instead at Kuroko, like he was tired of him--_

_"I'll crush you, Kuro-chin." Murasakibara's glare was truly frightening to most, as he was glaring at Kuroko for trying to convince him to stay in practice, as they didn't agree when it came to work ethics--_

_"Tetsuya." Akashi's wide eyes and grin were truly terrifying, especially with the new yellow eye. Kuroko didn't know what to do, what to say to this new Akashi Seijuurou--_

_"Tetsu-kun..." Momoi's sobbing broke his heart, especially since he didn't know what to really do to help her. He wanted the same thing she did, he wanted them back, but--_

_Kuroko fought to catch up, to stop them, to do anything. He watched their backs as he strayed behind. If this were before, they would ask him to stand by them, with them.. but this was different.They were good enough by themselves._

_He wasn't needed._

_He didn't belong with prodigies like them._

_He didn't._

**_He couldn't handle their glares and their harsh words and Ogiwara's tears and_ ** _\--_

 

Kuroko's eyes snapped open as he shot up from his laying position on his back, panting heavily. Once he realized what was going on, he breathed a sigh of relief. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and held his face in his hands.

 

This was becoming normal. Kuroko would have nightmares sometimes of his personal insecurities thanks to his old team. He didn't know why he was having them now -- as it was already after he had won the Winter Cup with his team. Kagami was his new light, not Aomine, and he had already made up with the Miracles already.

 

Kuroko swallowed thickly, panic rising up in his chest. He looked outside to check how early it was, and saw that it was pitch black, so he knew it was one of those nights. He was getting a little too used to this, and mentally wondered when it would all stop.

 

He looked down to his bedside table, seeing that his phone was on it's charger. He grabbed it with shaky hands, gingerly, and unlocked it to check the time.

 

 **_2:35 A.M._ **  

 

Kuroko closed his eyes in dismay for a second, before opening them again. _I should be over these nightmares already._ Was all Kuroko could think to himself. He swallowed, but it was made difficult with his dry mouth and lump in his throat. _It's pathetic._

 

Kuroko rapidly shook his head, ridding him of those thoughts. He knew some people that wouldn't be happy if they knew he thought that way about himself. His eyes then took in darkness as his only light source turned back off automatically, and startled out of his depressing thoughts. He clicked his phone back on, seeing the messages he didn't bother to check when he turned his phone back on last.

 

 _9 new messages from_ **_Rainbow Squad:_ **

**_1: 04 a.m. Inu-kun(o゜◇゜)ノ: Kurokocchiiiii don't ignore my texts (੭ ˃̣̣̥ ㅂ˂̣̣̥)੭ु_**

**_1: 07 a.m. Ganguro-kun: kise i s2g i will fucking fight you it's 1am go the fuck to sleep_ **

**_1:07 a.m. Ganguro-kun: why are you even texting tetsu at 1am_ **

**_1:08 a.m. Inu-kun(o゜◇゜)ノ: Because I want to talk to him Aominecchiiii!! Why, do you want my goodnight texts too?  （*’∀’人）♥_**

**_1:10 a.m. Ganguro-kun: yeah no fuck that bye_ **

**_1:11 a.m. Inu-kun(o゜◇゜)ノ: so mean!!! ╥﹏╥_**

**_1:11 a.m. Inu-kun(o゜◇゜)ノ: why is everyone so mean to me?!_ **

**_1:12 a.m. Emperor-sama: Kise. Go to sleep. Or else._ **

**_1:13 a.m. Inu-kun(o゜◇゜)ノ: ...yes, Akashicchi... (･_├┬┴┬┴_**

 

Kuroko smiled to himself faintly, remember the 'goodnight' texts Kise was talking about, before the reality of what he was reading hit him in the face, and in the chest. His breath caught in his throat, and he felt the signs of both anxiety and panic rise up again as he thought about the nightmare he had just witnessed. He didn't want to think about all of that again. He felt bad, he truly did, because he _knew_ everything was fine yet his brain wouldn't let him forget, couldn't let him forget what happened.

 

Usually, when these nights rolled around every once in a few weeks, Kagami was the one who helped him through it. They always just talked about nothing and everything, anything to get it off Kuroko's mind. Kagami was a great person, too good for Kuroko. Or, that's what he thought.

 

He picked up his phone again from when he had dropped it in his panic to turn it back off and exit the other messages, and scrolled through his contacts list to the name **_Bakagami_ **. He didn't want to annoy Kagami, but his heartbeat was still accelerated, and he was nervous that he would just have another nightmare if he just went back to sleep now.

 

**_2: 44 a.m. Kuroko Tetsuya: Sorry, Kagami-kun, I don't want to bother you, but are you awake?_ **

 

Kuroko winced as he sent the message, knowing that Kagami was probably sleeping, regretting that he had done that, what if Kagami got mad at him? Kuroko laid back down, knowing that Kagami wouldn't answer, but wanted to wait a few minutes. Kuroko tried to focus his breathing to be even, before his phone buzzed, and he sat back up in shock, heart beating for another reason entirely.

 

**_2:48 a.m. Bakagami-kun: nightmares again ???_ **

 

Kuroko smiled, and suddenly his shoulders were less tense than before. His heartbeat still raced, but he felt more calm now that he was talking to Kagami in some way.

 

**_2:49 a.m. Kuroko Tetsuya: Yes._ **

 

Kuroko waited for a response, closing his eyes and laying flat on his back again. He placed his phone on his chest, and was very surprised when his ringtone went off. He scrambled to hold the phone in a position where it wouldn’t drop from his hands onto his face (he’d done that a lot in the past), and saw **_Bakagami-kun is calling_ ** flash across the screen. He pressed the green answer button, hurriedly holding the phone up to his ear.

 

“Yes?” Kuroko said, clearing his throat from the lack of use over the past hours.

 

“You could just call me.” Kagami’s deep voice answered, slightly rough from his own lack of use from sleeping. Kuroko’s heart once again skipped a beat or three, and he absentmindedly places his hand not holding his phone over it. Maybe it was their partnership, but Kagami always seemed to know when Kuroko needed him. That was something unique to Kagami, and Kuroko was grateful for everything he’d done.

 

“I didn’t want to bother you, Kagami-kun.” Kuroko replied, thinking about how Kagami would surely be rolling his eyes now, thinking along the lines of _that’s stupid, we’re friends, it’s normal._ But to Kuroko, who had gotten a little too used to being shut out since the Generation of Miracles’ downfall, had to be reminded of the little things that Seirin did that put his faith back in the Miracles.

 

Kuroko was suddenly reminded of the Winter Cup final, how everyone on the benches cheered, and everyone in the stands did too; Seirin was beautiful under the artificial gymnasium lights, everyone crying and laughing and grinning. Kuroko was too, they all were, all wrapped in a group hug that showed everyone how close of a team they really were. The team that saved him from his own darkness, helped him move on, push forward, face his old teammates, and eventually trounce them. Seirin helped create his basketball to be how it was now: Kuroko's basketball. Seirin's basketball.

 

He was also reminded of how Ogiwara-kun -- **_free of tears from his eyes, all smiles for Kuroko despite what his team had done in the past_** \-- had cheered loudly for him, how the rest of the Miracles cheered him on against Akashi-- It was amazing. It was thrilling. It was overwhelming, a tumultuous experience that Kuroko sometimes wished he could experience again. Ogiwara and he had hugged for a minute after the game, overwhelmed together, and it was one of the best things that had happened to him, knowing that Ogiwara didn’t hate him, didn’t resent him for the things his team had done, didn’t get angry that Kuroko couldn’t have helped to stop his team in middle school--

 

“You’re not a bother, no matter how much you seem to think you are.” That statement, along with Kuroko’s riled up heart and mind, seemed to make his eyes tear up slightly. He was so grateful for Kagami, for Seirin-- they’d all done amazing things for him. They listened to him when he told his past to them, they laughed with him, they cried with him, and they understood. Seirin was the team that picked up his cracked pieces, stuck hot glue on them, and even got the Miracles to apologise to him, and got them to love basketball again. This revelation seemed only to make Kuroko want to cry more, so he placed a hand on his mouth, taking a quiet, shaky breath, not wanting Kagami to hear his moment of weakness, not wanting to experience it again. But it was Kagami -- why would he have to hide from his partner? His partner, who had worked with him, with Seirin..

 

Kuroko was saved by Seirin, by Kagami, from the darkness he claimed to be from the first time he and Kagami had declared their partnership. Kuroko had thought Kagami was a beautiful person even back then-- all aggressive, yet determined as he played basketball-- so like Aomine, but so different at the same time. Kuroko knew they would have a great friendship, despite their rocky start. They did, they flourished together with Seirin, and they bonded even further when Kagami pursued the use of Kuroko and Aomine’s old staple -- the fistbump. Of course, Kuroko was nervous about it at first, as he didn’t want to be broken by Kagami like he was from Aomine, but it worked out in the end, and it still works.

 

“It’s okay to cry, y’know.” Kagami’s voice was soft, with a tad bit of awkwardness from his slight Tsundere side, and it just fueled Kuroko inner desire to let him in, to let him understand what Kuroko was going through, to understand that he was Kuroko’s best friend. He could just imagine how red Kagami was, could feel his embarrassment through the phone, could see how red eyes would glance anywhere but at the side his phone was on against his ear. There was something that Kuroko liked about Kagami’s eyes and his own, and it was weird to think about, but they were truly beautiful. When compared to his own eyes, teal and emotional since his face couldn’t be, he realized that he liked the similarities. Their eye colors meshed well, as they were both light colors. Kuroko found the use of ‘light’ ironic, as Aomine was the light that helped him push forward from the bottom, and Kagami was the one that picked him up when he was feeling down, and pat him on the back with a grin and a ‘We’ll get them next time’. But if Kuroko’s eyes fit with the category light like his own two lights, then could that mean that he was a light to people in some way too?

 

His heart was racing, his mind was a mess, he was flustered, and he hadn’t bothered to dry the tear tracks that raced down both sides of his face, on his temples. He took a minute to calm down, noting that Kagami was just waiting for him to calm himself down. Kagami always knew now, when Kuroko needed time, when he needed a push, a vanilla milkshake, anything. It was one of the things that Kuroko liked to think went beyond their partnership, like something was hiding underneath the underneath, to be uncovered whenever the two were ready to uncover it.

 

A few minutes later, Kuroko’s embarrassing hitched breathing from trying not to cry too hard was over. His heart calmed down significantly, and as Kuroko listened to the silence between them, Kuroko realized how much he wanted to tell Kagami just how much he was appreciated, how just coming into his life at the right moment changed everything. He also wanted to ask Kagami things, anything, ranging from Kagami himself to what he thought about Kuroko and the Miracles, even to what was waiting to be uncovered from the both of them. Kuroko smiled faintly once again, listening to Kagami’s quiet breathing, steady like the person himself, and decided that today wasn’t the day to diverge into uncovering what was to be uncovered. Kuroko figured that would happen naturally, whenever it did.

 

Kuroko had a lot he wanted to say to a lot of people, but this was Kagami. For Kagami, he knew what he wanted to say in this moment in time.

 

“Thank you, Kagami-kun. I’m sorry you had to do this, again.” Kuroko’s voice came out soft, which he knew Kagami would pick up on, and he did. Kuroko knew for sure that Kagami was rolling his eyes now, and smiled a bit wider.

 

“It’s not a big deal.” Kagami’s voice was gruff, and Kuroko knew he was blushing again, maybe a bit more than before, knowing that Kagami felt awkward that he even had to say those words.

 

“It is though, Kagami-kun. I should be letting you sleep, you’re missing out on much needed beauty sleep.” Kuroko teased easily, making his voice go to his usual monotone, knowing that it pissed Kagami off.

 

“You little shit.” Kagami growled, and Kuroko pursed his lips together slightly to make sure he didn’t laugh. “What a sense of humor you have. You’ve been learning insults from Aomine again, haven’t you?”

 

That made Kuroko think. In the beginning of the year, he didn’t care much for deliberately making jokes or necessarily having a sense of humor, as he thought being straightforward and blunt was funny in itself, along with his misdirection scaring people. Seirin had changed that with their friendly attitude, as they were all funny in their own way. Not to say that the Miracles weren’t, but they were different. It was funny, the Seirin and Teiko had small similarities and were very vast and different, but they still meant a lot to Kuroko in the same ways.

 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing, Kagami-kun,” Kuroko starts after a brief pause, before continuing. “Aomine-kun has good insults, I’ll admit.”

 

“He does,” Kagami agreed reluctantly. “I’ll give him that. But you? With your attitude? That’s a terrible combination.” Kagami sounded so teasing and sincere, that Kuroko chuckled the tiniest bit.

 

Kuroko turned over on his side, laying his ear on the phone, hand still holding it in place, before closing his eyes. “Yes, that’s certainly true.”

 

They both laid there in silence for a few minutes, and Kuroko absently wondered if he could fall asleep to the sound of Kagami’s quiet, yet audible breathing. The answer seemed to be yes, as Kuroko was on the verge of unconciousness when Kagami’s voice spoke up once again, somehow knowing that Kuroko was falling asleep.

 

“I’ll let you sleep now, Kuroko. G’night.” Kagami’s voice was soft again, and Kuroko was starting to think that it was becoming his weakness, hearing Kagami’s voice like that. Kuroko was so tired now, eyes drooping from the fatigue left over from waking up too early for his sleep schedule, and he barely remembered to plug his phone back into the charger before laying down again, on his back.

 

After that, Kuroko easily drifted off to sleep. He dreamed that all of his beloved friends gathered together to play basketball. In the dream, Kagami seemed like he was glowing, surrounded by all of his friends. He was a lot of the time with Aomine, trading insults, but was always with Kuroko. He saw the grin being sent his way, just as amazing as in real life, and unknownst to Kuroko, he was smiling in his sleep.

 

It was one of the best dreams he's had in a long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Extra:  
> Kuroko's Contact List:
> 
> Kagami Taiga: Bakagami-kun (Kuroko put this one in. Kagami is not amused. Kuroko is.)  
> Akashi Seijuurou: Emperor-sama (Kuroko put this one in, to Akashi's amusement.)  
> Kise Ryouta: Inu-kun (o゜◇゜)ノ (Kuroko put this one in, to Kise's despair.)  
> Aomine Daiki: Ganguro-kun (Momoi put this in, to Aomine's anger and Kuroko's amusement.)  
> Midorima Shintarou: Carrot Top-kun (Kuroko put this one in.)  
> Murasakibara Atsushi: Kyojin-sama (Kuroko put this one in.)  
> Momoi Satsuki: ♥♥ Momo-chan ♥♥ (Momoi put this one in.)  
> Takao Kazunari: Ghostbuster ヾ(^▽^ヾ) (Takao put this one in, to Kuroko and Takao's joint amusement.)  
> Mayuzumi Chihiro: Mayuzumi-san (Kuroko put this one in.)  
> Ogiwara Shigehiro: Shige-kun ヽ(*・ω・)ﾉ (Kuroko put this one in, a long time ago. Ogiwara put the emoticon.)  
> Aida Riko: Queen of Hell ☆～（ゝ。∂）(Riko put this one in.)  
> Hyuga Junpei: Clutch Time (Hyuga put this one in.)  
> Kiyoshi Teppei: Eyebrows-senpai (Hyuga put this one in, much to Kiyoshi and Kuroko's amusement.)  
> Izuki Shun: King of Puns (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ (Izuki put this one in.)  
> Koganei Shinji: Neko-senpai (=ↀωↀ=)✧ (Kuroko put the name in, Koganei put the emoticon in.)  
> Mitobe Rinnosuke:ヾ(｡･ω･｡) (Both Koganei and Mitobe worked together to put this one in.)  
> Tsuchida Satoshi: Work in Progress (Tsuchida put this in, in reference to the fact that he wants to get along with cats.)  
> Furihata Kouki: Chihuahua-kun ◖⚆ᴥ⚆◗ (Kuroko put this one in, and Furihata let him keep the name. Furihata put the emoticon).  
> Kawahara Koichi: Dojikko-kun ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ (Kuroko put Dojikko ((clumsy girl)) in reference to Kawahara's preferred type of girl. Kawahara put the emoticon.)  
> Fukuda Hiroshi: Heroshi-kun ╰( ･ ᗜ ･ )╯ (Fukuda put this one in.)
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> See you next time.


End file.
